Mary Had A . . .

THE facts: Liddle, Lamb. wise CRACKS: Nursery rhymes and all. That hair of the coach on the left is fleece as white as snow. Photos by Jeff Patterson

Tipsy Guys Tipped Over Their Golf Cart

THE facts: The Ralph Myhre's 10th-hole flag is upright, but the cart near it has tipped over its apples. wise CRACKS: You have to give 'em props for propping it up. That's harder to do than it looks. Photo by Jeff Patterson

Swing and a Miss; Throwing Strikes

THE facts: An angry golfer heaves an iron down the fairway at Fenwick. wise CRACKS: He has better form on the club-throw than his club-swing. Photo by Rich Patterson

Ironic/Iconic Athletic Legacies

THE facts: Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong and not-so-natural Andy Pettitte are praised by a bank and a coloring book. wise CRACKS: Everyone thought you could take their "perfect" reputations to the bank. Photos by Jeff Patterson

Cougar Dilemma

THE facts: Kane County (Ill.) shortstop Tyler Ladendorf, who is now a major leaguer, is ready to pounce on the ball. wise CRACKS: Is it only older women who are called cougars? Anyway, they're usually the ones with their eyes on minor-league ballplayers. Photo by Jeff Patterson

Mellow Yellow Fellow

THE facts: This finch has a thing for mounting Queen Anne's lace. wise CRACKS: Is it just me or does he look like a banana? Photo by Jeff Patterson

A Nasty Pitch

THE facts: The most gruesome aspect of this pitch by undefeated Matt Lowes is looking at the muscles in his forearm. wise CRACKS: It's good for a batter to have a lot of "pop," but not a pitcher. Photo by Jeff Patterson

Trying to be Tom Watson

THE facts: Bubba Watson borrowed a right-handed club from Ryan Moore and began hitting shots at the Westchester C.C. range. wise CRACKS: I would have liked to see Moore of this session. Photo by Jeff Patterson

All-out Hustle

THE facts: Even the Middlebury College JV hockey team has heart. wise CRACKS: Will an all-star team ever consist of guys who just give it their all? Photo by Jeff Patterson

You Gotta Believe!

THE facts: Even in central Connecticut, the pull of the New York Mets exists. wise CRACKS: Does this sign help business or hurt it? Photo by Jeff Patterson

Phillie Phanatic

THE facts: Jimmy Rollins makes dead-center contact in batting practice at Wrigley Field. wise CRACKS: At what age does a man stop being referred to as Jimmy? Photo by Jeff Patterson

Tough Tee Shot

THE facts: Chris Millard tees off on the fourth hole in the Morgan Cup tournament. wise CRACKS: Over/under: The number of ticks in that long grass: 5,000? Photo by Jeff Patterson

The Epitome of a Home Run

THE facts: This fastball was hit deep into the Stockton, Calif., night. wise CRACKS: Is it just me, or did you notice how all seven guys in this picture are bending their knees? Photo by Jeff Patterson

Stacked Kayaks

THE facts: Colorful kayaks are stored in front of plain, white optimists. wise CRACKS: The optimists are still optimistic that their owners will paint them a catchy color. Photo by Jeff Patterson

A Union Thing

THE facts: The Union College hockey team diagrams a play against St. Lawrence. wise CRACKS: Go figure: Once the college got rid of requiring SAT scores from applicants its hockey team won the D-I national championship. Photo by Jeff Patterson

Water Works

THE facts: The Fenway Park grounds crew sprays the infield dirt in between innings. wise CRACKS: Are those three guys in the red shirts really necessary? Or is it a union thing? Photo by Jeff Patterson

Fertile Hurdle

THE facts: Bates College is better at hurdling than it is at football. wise CRACKS: That "hurdles." Photo by Jeff Patterson

Stark, Dark Bark

THE facts: Sunsets are magical. wise CRACKS: Except when you're trying to squeeze in nine holes. Photo by Jeff Patterson

Numero Uno

THE facts: Trinity College men's hockey players celebrate winning the 2007 NESCAC title. Eight years later it won the national championship. wise CRACKS: No. 11 putting his right index finger up in the air made for a trinity of ones. Photo by Jeff Patterson

Football Players Are Smarter Than a Fifth Grader

THE facts: Trinity College's quarterback did pretty well on his reading comprehension. wise CRACKS: I doubt many of his professors could run an offense, memorizing hundreds of plays, like he has to. Photo by Jeff Patterson

Fitz Knows How to Duck the Blitz

THE facts: Journeyman QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, of Harvard crimson cloth, is one of the better cold-weather players, due in large part to his big bushy beard. wise CRACKS: Mrs. Fitzpatrick is admittedly the only one who thinks it looks good. Photo by Jeff Patterson

How Avalanches Start

THE facts: This University of New Hampshire skier sure is one wild cat. wise CRACKS: FYI: This is not the recommended way to powder your nose. Photo by Jeff Patterson

7 Cs

THE facts: Clearly Connecticut College Camels chairs contain Cs. wise CRACKS: I think C.C. Sabbathia could fit comfortably on that amount. Photo by Jeff Patterson

Does Venison Really Taste That Good?

THE facts: This is my dear, deer friend. wise CRACKS: How could someone with access to a grocery store shoot (with a gun as opposed to a camera) a being like this? Photo by Jeff Patterson

New Balance

THE facts: Balance is an important skill on the golf course. wise CRACKS: This ability takes it to the next level. Photo by Jeff Patterson

Who said that Golf is Dead?

THE facts: Putting competitions break out at a minor-league baseball game and college-basketball contest. wise CRACKS: At least those guys know it's a straight putt. Photos by Jeff Patterson

Boeheim has Bohemian Values

THE facts: Syracuse basketball coach Jim Boeheim and his point guard are totally in sync during games. wise CRACKS: But according to the NCAA the longtime coach hasn't been on the same page of the rule book. Photo by Jeff Patterson

Height is Relative

THE facts: Even though Panther center Andrew Locke is some seven feet tall, he looks awfully tiny because the Wesleyan basket is raised more than 20 feet. wise CRACKS: Will the 10-foot rim ever get jacked up? Right now more pros can dunk than can't. Photo by Jeff Patterson

You're bleeding!

THE facts: No foul was called on this play in an NCAA Tournament soccer game between Williams College and Middlebury. wise CRACKS: These kind of plays make it a rivalry. Photo by Jeff Patterson

Birds of this Feather Don't Flock Together

THE facts: A solitary seagull stays out of the frigid ocean and cold wind by attempting to walk around them. wise CRACKS: Are sea gulls gullible? Photo by Jeff Patterson

Positing That This Positon is Pertinent

THE facts: Basketball isn't the only sport where it's important to box out. wise CRACKS: If you can out box out the player you're boxing out, you'll have possession and appear possessed. Photos by Jeff Patterson

Speed Demon Demonstrates Speed

THE facts: Middlebury's point guard, shooting guard and point-getting guard Joey Kizel carried the ball upcourt so fast the high-speed camera couldn't capture it. wise CRACKS: That's how he, J.K. Rolling, rolls. Photo by Jeff Patterson

An Ace of Hearts

THE facts: Richard Hall hammers a serve in the Labor Day mixed-doubles tournament. wise CRACKS: By all accounts, he nailed that ball, making it look extra fuzzy to the returner. Photo by Jeff Patterson

On Treasure Island

THE facts: Richard Hall putts for birdie on the par-3 third at Spyglass Hill. wise CRACKS: If it weren't for the green and the sand, this could be a black-and-white photo. Photo by Jeff Patterson

That's Me on TV!

THE facts: With the exception of pros like Sergio Garcia, not many people can hit an iron off this tee. wise CRACKS: Sergio has surgical precision when it comes to his ball-striking. Even with a scalpel of a 3-iron. Photo by Jeff Patterson

As The Crow Flies in a Hurricane

THE facts: Most times the path between where you are and where you want to go isn't a straight line. wise CRACKS: Except for when you make a midnight beeline to the toilet. Photo by Jeff Patterson

A Sticker For Misbehavior

THE facts: This plain black-and-white bumper sticker is one of the better out there. wise CRACKS: Can you imagine running an extra 1.2 miles on top of a full 26.2? Photo by Jeff Patterson

Triple Crown winner

THE facts: Golf World Magazine no longer exists in print form. But if it did, this cover might have made it into circulation. wise CRACKS: Even a lob wedge, let alone a driver, doesn't launch the ball as high as Miguel Cabrera's bat. Photo by Jeff Patterson

Paint By (Hole) Numbers

THE facts: This impressionable impressionist painting by EIP is one of her seminal works. wise CRACKS: Is it just me, or does anyone else see a dogleg right up the hill? (There really isn't one there.) Photo by Jeff Patterson

The National and Family Pastime

THE facts: Shawn Haviland's biggest, err smallest, fan is his oldest son Reilly. wise CRACKS: Although they're some big shoes to fill, there's a good chance he'll follow in his father's footsteps, playing baseball and hopping over foul lines. Photos by Jeff Patterson

An "A" For Effort

THE facts: Thirty-two straight words with the same pre-fix concluded a women's hockey game summary. wise CRACKS: The winners, Manhattanville, sure brought their A-game. Photo by Jeff Patterson

As Luck Would Have It

THE facts: Situated behind bullet-proof glass, a package of Peanut M&Ms dangled—just out of reach. wise CRACKS: The smaller, lighter regular M&Ms would have fit throughout the gate. Photo by Jeff Patterson

No Pain for Shane

THE facts: Shane Spinell jumps off the stonewall behind Bicentennial Hall.

wise CRACKS: As Warren Miller says, "You can't get hurt in the air."

Photo by Jeff Patterson

Getting out of the way

THE facts: Southern Maine Husky Jon Rutt jumps out of the way of a Paul Conter wrist shot.

wise CRACKS: If he sticks the landing, Rutt should get a perfect 10.

Photo by Jeff Patterson

An accident waiting to happen

THE facts: A Norwich University guard reads the defense at Pepin Gymnasium.

wise CRACKS: At this moment neither the game nor his shoes were tied. (Middlebury won 84-49).

Photo by Jeff Patterson